10 Things NOT to Do as a Waiter

Being a waiter is like being part magician, part therapist, and part ninja. When you do it right, diners leave full, happy, and ready to tip big. When you do it wrong? Well… let’s just say Yelp reviews don’t forget. If you’re slinging plates, here are 10 things you should absolutely NOT do.

1. Don’t Forget Who Ordered What

Handing a rare steak to the vegan isn’t “quirky.” It’s lawsuit-adjacent.

2. Don’t Hover Like a Helicopter Parent

Checking in is good. Breathing down someone’s neck like they’re a toddler with scissors? Not so much.

3. Don’t Vanish Into Another Dimension

Yes, we know the kitchen is a black hole, but disappearing for 45 minutes with no drinks refilled is how revolts begin.

4. Don’t Get Creative With the Specials

If the chef didn’t approve “Chicken à la Whatever-I-Felt-Like,” neither will the customers.

5. Don’t Roll Your Eyes at Substitutions

Yes, Karen wants her salad without lettuce. No, your sarcasm won’t make her rethink her life choices.

6. Don’t Drop Silverware Like Mic Drops

If every fork arrives with a side of clatter, the table starts to sound like a cymbal factory.

7. Don’t Ignore the Empty Glass Rule

An empty glass is a diner’s silent scream for help. Refill before they stage a thirst protest.

8. Don’t Forget You’re On Stage

Arguing with the cook in front of customers isn’t “realness.” It’s dinner theater nobody asked for.

9. Don’t Pocket the Tip in Plain Sight

You’re not in a Vegas casino. Palming cash mid-service is less “slick” and more “awkward.”

10. Don’t Treat Tables Like Speed Bumps

Each group is more than an obstacle between you and clock-out. A smile, a joke, even a quick kindness can turn you from “server” to “legend.”

Final Thought:

Being a waiter isn’t just about delivering food. It’s about delivering an experience. Skip the eye rolls, keep the glasses full, and remember: people might forget the entrée, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.