10 Things NOT to Do in a Relationship (If You Want It to Actually Work)

Avoid the traps. Build the love.

When it comes to relationships, everyone tells you what to do: Communicate. Be honest. Spend quality time.
But sometimes, it’s what you don’t do that makes all the difference. So here’s your reverse playbook: 10 things NOT to do in a relationship if you actually want to keep it healthy, fulfilling, and real.

1. Don’t Assume They Can Read Your Mind

If you’re waiting for them to “just know” what’s wrong, you’re setting both of you up for disappointment. Speak up. Grown love needs grown conversations.

2. Don’t Keep Score

It’s not a competition. If you're tallying favors, mistakes, or who’s “winning” an argument, you’re playing the wrong game. Love isn’t a scoreboard- it’s a shared journey.

3. Don’t Let Little Things Fester

Unwashed dishes, missed texts, or side comments- left unchecked, these become resentment bombs. Address the small stuff before it becomes big stuff.

4. Don’t Disrespect Their Time or Space

Even in love, people need room to breathe. Clinginess, over-texting, or invading alone time is a shortcut to suffocation.

5. Don’t Make Jokes at Their Expense (All the Time)

A little teasing is playful. Constant sarcasm, especially in front of others, turns into low-key disrespect. Be their safe space, not their punchline.

6. Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations

If you're dodging big talks- finances, boundaries, future plans- it’s not peace, it’s delay. Real love requires real talk, even when it’s uncomfortable.

7. Don’t Compare Them to Anyone (Especially an Ex)

Nothing kills connection faster than comparison. They’re not your ex, not your friend’s partner, not your fantasy. Love the person in front of you.

8. Don’t Take Them for Granted

“Thanks,” “I appreciate you,” “You look great”- these go a long way. Appreciation is the oil that keeps the relationship engine from rusting.

9. Don’t Use Love as a Weapon

Withholding affection, threatening to leave, or using “I love you” to manipulate- that’s emotional sabotage, not romance. Love should feel safe.

10. Don’t Lose Yourself

Being “we” doesn’t mean erasing “me.” Stay connected to your hobbies, friends, goals. The healthiest relationships are made of two whole people, not half-selves clinging for identity.

Final Thought

Love isn’t perfect, but it should feel safe, fun, and real.
Avoiding these 10 common pitfalls won’t guarantee happily ever after- but it will give your relationship a strong, honest foundation to stand on.